GRIEF IS PART OF MIDLIFE

We often perceive grief as the loss of a loved one to death. However, there are many forms of grief that are not often talked about. When you transition into midlife, you may also experience grief that is masked or manifested in emotions like anger or regret. Since you may not recognize it, you may not realize you’re dealing with grief.

Why do we grieve in Midlife?

Midlife is a major transition in our lives. We transition from being young, to not being that young anymore. Our bodies change, our faces change, our households may change from being full to empty, or even from living in prosperity to not being that prosperous anymore.

 The truth is, when we undergo any major kind of change, there is grief involved because there’s a “dying” that needs to take place to something that was true once, but isn’t true anymore. We need to grief that loss and work through the emotions that come up. Midlife brings up many losses and we have to recognize these losses and do our grieving.

What to do with grief

You may not be able to recognize grief because you have been so conditioned to only recognize grief when someone dies, but in yourself grief may manifest itself as anger, depression, sadness, anxiety, regrets. The best thing you can do for yourself in this part of your life is to be present, and when emotions come up you can do the following:

1. Stop and ask yourself what you’re feeling. Identify the emotion.
2. Then ask what is behind the emotion. Sit with it, explore it, feel it.
3. Once you have identified what is behind the emotion, give yourself grace, love and acceptance.
4. Writing a letter, or journaling will be helpful to transition through the emotions.
5. Also practice forgiveness towards yourself and anyone else that may be involved.

Take your Time

Working through grief isn’t a once off exercise. You may find that you will have to do something over and over again, but be gentle and loving to yourself. If you stay with the process, you will start to feel better over time. If you feel you need more help, consult a life coach or a professional – there is nothing bad about that.