Starting a new life at midlife can be extremely scary.
Starting a new life whether voluntarily or cause by some life altering incident, can be overwhelming. At this point in our life, we want the box of safety and security. However, this box has been opened wide. So, the thought floating in your mind – NOW WHAT?
Let’s release all the expectations, assumptions, projections, and preconceived ideas of how something will be. Let’s accept and acknowledge that life is imperfect and oh so messy. As we navigate this life, we know that it is a work in progress.
This new chapter in life, this new story – what will it be?
Open your mind, awaken your curiosity. Let your imagination take you to new places and horizons. Let hope be your guiding light and flexibility be your strength. This way the new story will present itself and unfold as new possibilities.
NOW WHAT? What a powerful place to be in. Now what? Is the precise moment of choice. You get to choose your next. You get to create to write your next. It becomes a journey an adventure. A Midlife Adventure.
Now What? SHOW UP WITH COURAGE TO START YOUR NEW LIFE.
5 HABITS TO HELP YOU START YOUR NEW LIFE
- BEING COMPASSIONATE TO SELF
Talk to yourself kindly and treat yourself kindly too.
Stop the regret cycle of “could’ve and should’ve”. This keeps us perpetually stuck in victim mode. We loop around in endless suffering of shame, blame-game, guilt, unforgiveness of our past self, judging oneself harshly for not living up to our own expectations. Not being brave or avoiding life. Not find your voice for yourself in moments when you needed it the most.
First step is to acknowledge our feelings. Write them down. Doing so with some gentleness. The tenderness helps us strengthen our courage and discover a way forward.
NOW WHAT? “As part of your evening routine, add in 3/2/1 practice. Consider or journal your responses: “What are three things I’m grateful for today? What are two things I have done well today? What is one thing I could do differently next time?” www.lifeinprogress.ca
- TAKING ACTION WITH HOPE AND FEAR
You may want to hide away, avoid or ignore, just numb out when life gets too much (especially if you are a highly sensitive person, the anxiety can be overwhelming). Taking a breath, stepping to face your fears, actioning despite the fear. This builds hope within us. It reminds our mind and body that we are not helpless, powerless, or defeated. That we do have some control within us. – a sense of agency. This strengthens our confidence.
NOW WHAT? Ask yourself daily what action I can take today to start my new life.
- TRUSTING YOURSELF IS A BIG ONE
Trusting yourself is a skill that we can strengthen. As motivation follows action, so does self-belief follow action of self-belief. This way trust is built and strengthen.
Many people have lost trust in themselves because of breaking promises to self by not living to our highest possibilities and greatest potential. Inaction amplifies disbelief in ourselves, whereas action transforms trust in self. We are the experts in/on our life. We have a choice to acknowledge and make space for our needs, desires and to use our voices.
Listening to our mind, body, and spirit is an essential awareness to be of. Being mindful when comparison creeps in, when we don’t feel safe, or when we’re mistrusting, we have what it takes, and we gently adjust or seek appropriate help. There isn’t one perfect way to do your life. We may need to modify our perspective or things no longer work for us to live a happy life. Focusing on our own lives as navigate our new life.
NOW WHAT? Pause a few times in the day to check in with your thoughts, feelings and your body. Ask yourself “what is your loving guidance for me?”
- APPLYING PURPOSEFUL, STRONG BOUNDARIES
Starting a new life demands a huge amount of mental and emotional energy It’s essential to put ourselves first. Starting a new life requires hard work, dedication, and determination. We will likely be required to create new boundaries or seal the leaky ones. Oh, you will definitely upset some people in your circle. Keep in mind your wellbeing depends on it.
Starting a new life or chapter may make you unavailable for a short time. This new chapter may change your contribution to the people around you. Be it time or energy or whatever it looks like. It may be challenging if you are a generous soul. You may feel guilty but persevere. Self-compassion and discipline is a good thing. It impacts your self-worth.
NOW WHAT? When you notice guilt, frustration, resentment, or anger surfacing, pause, breath, and ask yourself “Why am I feeling this way and where have I given my power away or my boundaries are leaky?
- BEING ALIGNED WITH YOUR CORE VALUES
Are you aligned with your core values. Do you know what your core values are? Knowing your core values builds a sense of agency which is key to starting a new life. Our values will change according to our experiences however there is no circumstance that can ever prevent you from intentionally putting them into practice.
Life is messy and fluctuating. Hard things will happen; not one of us escapes life without sampling struggle. But no matter what, we need to know what we stand for to live our bold best life.
NOW WHAT? Meditate, get in touch with your inner wisdom. Clear out the noise inside and tap into what you stand for and your core values. How can I apply them in a particular area of my life.
Life will ask to start a new life – whether by choice or because life surprises you with a wobbly experience. I’m here with you in the throes of life, finding my way forward – becoming a beginner. At writing after loss and incredible pain, sickly mum moving in with me, at taking consistent, imperfect action at figuring out how to stay calm and compassionate in the middle of my world turning upside down. Finding my sacred space in this world as I find my flow again. I did not plan for this. Most of the hard life stuff that throws at us shocks our sense of balance to the core. The turbulent waters of change and transformation challenges are to sink or swim. What are you choosing?
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